Below are the most recent 10 friends' journal entries.

Thursday, July 3rd, 2008
ohthe__horror	1:01a	$10,000 My life has taken another interesting turn. --- The last six months in Grand Rapids looked something like this: --- I am not the person I used to know. Current Music: the kinks (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 1st, 2008
__stereotherapy	1:31p	let me just stay in a alcohol weed coma till school starts. fuck itt fuck these people. fuck it fuck it fuck it everyone's motives are vicious bullshit. (Comment on this)
__stereotherapy	8:36a	i feel and see the most beautiful things driving to your grave at 6am spontaniously. i love you i miss you (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 29th, 2008
__stereotherapy	1:55p	Every time I'm sitting, standing, kneeling, every second of every day, I wonder what it would be like if you were there. And then I wish you were there. yoga today and playing in fields and hopefully waterfall smokin' wooo. people are strange. (Comment on this)
__stereotherapy	1:15p	In rain, In train, Alive, Alone. My father was born. His sun must die. In grey, In brain, Future, Gucci. Nothing more than the me. I am ended, c'est la vie. In sky, All mine, Never, Forever. Flying over the heads, Over money and over beds. (Comment on this)
__stereotherapy	12:54a	hold the hand of being alone, cultivate it. no, drugs are actually helpful. blah blah blah blah evil can come in peaceful, happy, and helpful forms. watch your back, im ready for college, except speech class..im really kinda scared of that one, but fuck it, be fearless why dont ya? (Comment on this)
Friday, June 27th, 2008
__stereotherapy	12:51a	SO PROVE IT SO FUCKING PROVE IT. she would have and she did. and now i am alone no matter what and now i have to face eveerything alone with people who talk talk talk talk instead of showing me like she did. ok be safe. call me when you get home. "im here im just calling cause you told me to call you when i get home" "ok i love you goodnight" "love you too". i'll just sit in my room and be with her until i go to college and even then i dont think ill change. ill just........drinking feels good cause i feel so much instead of nothing. IM DISORIENTED AND IM CONFUSED ANDI DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING. fuck off. everythign is nothing. fuck off. you have everything and you take it for granted and then its gone. WHAT IS GOING ON. just let me know; i wish you were here, oh fuck fuck fuck fuck. HA-HA-HA-HAH AHAHAHAHA i just want to be with my best friend. is that so fucking much to ask. i dont care. death. WHATEVER. oh my god. words words words. none of this comes close. WHERE ARE YOU!???????????!????????????????????????????????!?????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHERE ARE YOU!???????????!????????????????????????????????!?????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHERE ARE YOU!???????????!????????????????????????????????!?????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my mistakes and pain are going to shut my heart down and i dont care. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 25th, 2008
__stereotherapy	12:53a	im empty im an empty fuckin vessel being used by anyone who can sense it. people are vicious. i feel alone. (get used to it) i feel...i feel possessed. i cant focus. i cant stop thinking. i think so much my brain hurts i have headaches all the time. no one listens, they're thinking of what to say next. nothing feels right. nothing is right. nothing is okay. just like in stranger than fiction, im observing and counting it up, my life feels like a tragedy. boo hoo hoo, thats all i ever do or say. im either really peaceful and spontanious and ready. or im darkness-filled. get away from me, leave me alone. it never will. will i ever be able to sleep? even in death? we think of death as the end,as if its the peaceful answer. where did we get that from? it could be a long never ending process, we could never be okay. i want to be okay. i want to do, praise whoever, worship a god, say what i need to say, do anything just to feel better. why does everything have to be a huge fucking guessing game with soooo many exceptions and rules and contradictions. no one HEARS me except someone in my past. a picture's not enough. nothing's enough and i beg every night i try everything to feel her to talk to her. confused doesn't even begin to describe it WHY cant i see that she knows i love her. WHY why why why why why i cant say it enough. give her back you selfish fuck. let me say something to her. hand the phone to her!!! let me say something!!!!! i was always good about expressing my feelings for her to her until near the end. time is a circle right? the week before she went, "i miss katie" FUCK, MISS doesnt even begin. my mistakes ring and ring and ring and buzz and all i want to do is be beside her. why cant i see her except in dreams. dreams of floods and driving to get to her but too many obstacles. WHY where? WHAT? WHY cant i tell her i love her. i dont want to go to college, i dont want to go to my stupid fucking useless job, i dont want to come home, i dont want to sleep, i just want...something i have never felt, something .....FUCK i dont know. it's not a word. god go dgod god what is this word? everything is influenced, and nothing is real. ya chemicals when you die, you see family members but are they really there? what happens when the dmt shuts off? Your brain is what makes everything and your brain SHUTS OFF WHEN YOU DIE. answers. i feel and see the pain that turns everyone into hateful robots. people turn off, and i feel like im about to. i dont like it. LET ME FEEL SOMETHING OTHER THAN THIS. I'LL DO ANYTHING. ill do anything to feel better. get straight it's easier than i think. no motivation. nothhing. i just want to lie. i cant quit my job but i cant just sit and stand and stare at a fucking wall thinking and thinking and thinking and they dont care. 4 days after she died, "yeah, she expects you to be at work tomorrow" FUCK YOU. FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU. but no, on the other hand, people's lives go on, selling yogurt is obviously detrimental, obviously a lot critical. the world doesnt stop when you feel it should. what is staring off? what is memory? is it real? My brains going to explode. meet me. meet me meet me meet me. nom but wait i think i want to live..... i'll do anything i sware. what do i do? give me some fucking answers. driving home, my eyes start to close, my mind feels like it's in another realm. i literally think i should pull over cause i feel myself physically dying. im exhausted. every morning i wake up feeling dizzy and like im goign to pass out. am i doing something wrong besides the obvious? where should i go? WHAT DO I FUCKING DO, GIVE ME A LINE HERE. words are my best friend and enemy. they never fully understand me, not even my words understand, my words betray me, my feelings,my mind. what can i say besides i love you? human touch isnt enough human words arent enough. crying screaming to god isnt enough. this is hell. the realm of life im living in is hell. when am i going to wake up? i'll do anything to wake up in a better place. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 24th, 2008
__stereotherapy	1:06a	Vino tinto y píldoras para dormir ayudame a volver a tus brazos Sexo fácil y películas tristes ayudame a estar donde pertenezco Creo que estás loca, quizás Creo que estás loca, quizás Para de enviar cartas Las cartas siempre queman No es como en las películas Ellas nos dicen mentiras piadosas Creo que estás loca quizás Creo que estás loca quizás Te veré en la próxima vida. (Comment on this)
Monday, June 23rd, 2008
__stereotherapy	11:37p	someday you'll be up to your knees in the shit you see Current Music: sleep-the smiths (Comment on this)